' ' Cinema Romantico: Breaking My New Girl Vow

Thursday, February 09, 2012

Breaking My New Girl Vow

I made a promise to watch every episode of Zooey Deschanel's sitcom "New Girl" and blog about it. But as one of the wisest sages of the 80's proclaimed: "Promises made are promises broken. Promises made always cause pain."

It was probably destined to end this way.
Let's be honest, this promise has caused me pain, particularly with the most recent episode of "New Girl" - "The Landlord" - which was on the level of that one "Big Bang Theory" episode I watched solely because it was about Nebraska Football which was a disgrace to Nebraska Football, Leslie Knope, and humanity. Yet in the face of this half-hour monstrosity I still wasn't about to renege on my promise. And then I read Josef Adalian's article for Vulture, "How TV Pilots Looking For Stars Are Benefitting From The Zooey Effect."

He writes: "...industry types we spoke to said (Deschanel's) smashingly successful move to the small screen in New Girl underscores just how dramatically the TV casting dynamic has changed in recent years." Smashingly successful?! This is partially MY fault! I've aided in making "New Girl" smashingly successful by tuning in to every single episode! Yet the article only became more troubling.

Adalian continues: "So which buzzworthy young 'uns are showing up on casting radars this pilot season? One agent source says he's heard many mentions of Malin Akerman." RECORD SCRATCH!!! That's my official Cinematic Crush you're talkin' about here! Key word: Cinematic. Look, I know she's great and dry and funny on "Children's Hospital" but this isn't what we want from Malin full time, is it? It can't be! Please! Tell me it isn't! She's a silver-screenster! If Ms. Akerman winds up on some TV show where she has to film an episode as noxious as "The Landlord" that would be too much to bear! It would be one thing if she landed the lead on, say, a Showtime original with a no b.s., hard-charging role with a creator who played by no rules but his own, but this article makes it sound like we're talking Big Four Network and that is "Sleepaway Camp" frightening (unless she lands a recurring role on "Community" as Britta's apolitical nemesis, except "Community" has basically been cancelled).

Save Malin. Stop The Zooey Effect.
In the face of this I can't continue to knowingly aid and abet The Zooey Effect. I made a promise, yes, but I also have principles. And to adhere to this promise in the face of these new revelations would be a severe soiling of my principles. Thus, my promise made must be broken. I'll feel bad abandoning Lizzy Caplan but it's a necessary sacrifice. And besides, now I can spend that half-hour writing or watching something on TMC or seeking out unreleased Lady Gaga tracks or reading Lady Gaga on Twitter or reading my book or going for a jog or cleaning my oven or staring at a wall or counting all the sheets of fabric softener I have left.

Au revoir, Zooey. I'm gonna get along without you now.

11 comments:

SDG said...

I am commenting for the first time but I have been reading your blog for few months now and I found it interesting that you continue thus far. I stopped watching it in 4-5 episodes. And for a good reason as well.

Nick Prigge said...

Oh, believe me, if I hadn't made a ridiculous pledge I would have stopped a long time ago too. And I would have been insane enough to keep going if I hadn't stumbled across this article. But I can't continue to support a product I don't actually want to support. That's just wrong.

The Fab Miss B said...

We made it through episode one and were shocked at how bad it was. But lots of things have a craptacular pilot. So we moved on to episode two. Ghastly. It's really the only word. I'm glad she's having success, but who the hell are these people who love it?

flixchatter.net said...

Don't hate me Nick but I'm actually not a big fan of Zoey so yeah, I've been living fine without her, ahah. I don't know, something about her bugs me, I don't mind about her sister as much though.

Nick Prigge said...

Becky: I was trying really hard to wear rose-colored glasses because I had taken this ludicrous vow to watch every episode but eventually it just started to wear me down. You can only deny for so long. If you would have seen this most recent episode...oh, heaven help me. It makes the Pilot look halfway decent.

Ruth: You know, I'm not a huge Zooey fan either. I do like her quite a bit a few films, but not everything. I don't even think this show is primarily her fault - although I think she a producer so she must be held partly responsible. It's the writing that just endlessly falls back on familiar tropes without making them feel fresh.

Castor said...

The show is mediocre. I don't think I even laughed once and I tried to watch a few episodes. Zooey is fun but the rest of the cast are just sleep-inducing.

Film Intel said...

The trails have started for its arrival in the UK...

Nick Prigge said...

Castor: Sleep inducing is a good way to describe the rest of the cast. Well, except for Lizzy Caplan. But she arrived on the scene way too late and for her sake she needs to escape sooner rather than later.

Sam: Noooooooooo!!! Stay away! Don't make the same foolish mistake I did!

Sam Fragoso said...

Bye Zoey.

Sam Fragoso said...

And by "Zoe" I clearly meant Zooey

Nick Prigge said...

Zoey, Zoe, Zooey, whoever, whichever, it's all over now.