Ship, Not Boat, but what about Balloon?

It was announced on Monday that the plainly (perfectly) titled middling thriller “Plane,” currently holding second place in the 2023 box office sweepstakes, is getting a sequel, tentatively set to begin production at the end of this year. Loyal frustrated followers will recall that Cinema Romantico examined the naming possibilities of a “Plane” sequel last November. If I would have put my money on “Boat,” the sequel has gone with “Ship,” and maybe that makes sense, because now that I think about it, when I think of boats, I think of lakes, and when I think of ships, I think of oceans, and international waters is probably where you want your middling thrillers to take place. Fair play. Still. In devising that list, I remember wanting to include Balloon but struggling to devise a nominally catchy descriptor to go along with it and as such leaving it off. Turns out, I didn’t know how to pitch Balloon because the universe was waiting to pitch Balloon to me. And though I’m sure the producers were already too far along to change concepts midstream, I’m chagrined that “Ship” didn’t capitalize on current events to rename itself “Balloon.” Say, Gerard Butler as Kyle Bradbury, private hot air balloon pilot who unwittingly takes several customers up into the air above Lake Ontario for a nice afternoon only for radar to suddenly detect an outbreak of Chinese Spy Balloons. With scrambling fighter jets, gun-wielding locals who decide to take matters into their own hands, and unidentified flying objects that might not be spy balloons at all bearing down on him, Kyle must act fast to keep his “Balloon” aloft.